The Unheard Beginning
by hannahe5
Summary: Eli's sister's disappearance after their mother died has been a mystery for years. When she finally returns, Eli's worried she is hiding a secret. Rated M for Later Chapters. Involves Eclare, Adam/OC Kelsey/Wesley Kelsey/OC. New characters involved :
1. The Unthinkable

**The Unheard Beginning**

**Chapter 1- The Unthinkable**

**Eli**

"Come On, This year isn't going to be so bad!" Adam exclaimed to Clare. "Last year wasn't the best year for me. That's all I'm saying." Her smile flashed and we began to laugh. Her hair glistened in my face, as she sat on my lap. Adam's smile faded a little, but came back. "You guys are impossible. I still can't believe I lasted a whole summer with you guys and didn't rip your heads off." Clare giggled again. I pulled on her waist and pulled her closer. "She's my girl. I'm surprised I'm still alive, but we didn't do much in front of you." Adam laughed, "Like you two do much at all!" He said, insulting me on a joke level. I finally smirked, "How are you so sure?" I asked him. He backed his hands up and surrendered. "I don't want to know." He said, still laughing.

Clare didn't mind my comments toward our sexual relationship anymore. She used to, but it seemed to fade, as she seemed to like it.

Clare and Adam continued their conversation about the upcoming year, while my eyes trailed off and looked around. The school was the same as last year, just as plain and simple. New people walked around, clueless. I remember when I was new here.

Then one girl caught my eye. She stood talking to Mrs. Sobet. Some suitcases were placed in front of her, and she didn't look like she was going to come to school today. I finally realized the familiar face and frowned. How could she be here? Why was she here?

My heart ached at the memory of her leaving; her lying to me, over and over. Saying she was at a private school far away, when in reality she was gone, In the middle of nowhere.

My heart raced with my head as I saw Clare look at me with worried eyes. "Should I be jealous?" She said to me. I looked down at her, "What?" I said. She looked and pointed at her then looked back at me with puppy-dog eyes. "Oh, her? I don't know her, no need to get worried." I said which caused her to smile again.

We all got up and said our goodbyes. Clare walked away to homeroom, and so did Adam. I was left alone at the picnic table thinking to myself. Thinking about her and why she would be back.

She saw me looking at her and smiled. I quickly looked away and as I was getting up. She ran to me leaving her suitcases in front of Ms. Sobet.

She ran up to me quickly, and reached for a hug. I just stood there, deep in my shoes; staring angrily at her. "Eli!" She had said before reaching to hug me. "Well, not the exact welcome I wanted." She had managed to say.

I just looked at her, too angry to say anything. I was lost with words, nothing to say. I didn't need to say anything to her, she didn't deserve for my forgiveness.

"Look, Elijah. I know I left and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left and didn't tell you exactly where I going, but I had to get away, for certain reasons."

I just listened as she told me she moved to the states to meet up with Aunt Maggie in California. She said she needed to go away for certain reasons but I didn't hear a reason well enough for me to forgive her.

"You left me and dad when we needed you the most." I finally managed to say with hurt in my words.

She looked down at her feet and sighed. "I know." She looked around in every direction avoiding contact with me.

"You are going to stay away from me. You lied to me so I don't want anything to do with you." I said, with anger in my voice. She started to tear-up. "I am in Toronto again, and I need somewhere to stay."

"Well, you can't stay with me and dad. I'm sorry but I won't accept it." I began to slightly turn around. She grabbed my arm. "Where am I supposed to go?"

I turned back to look at her, "I'm not sure, but anywhere but here." I knew I was hurting her, but she hurt me just as much. I turned back around and stomped away. Not aware If she was crying or not. She probably wasn't. She doesn't cry often. She's strong so she can stay by herself. She's strong enough to leave the country, then she strong enough to come back and expect us not to care about her.

I turned around slightly just to see her heading back to Mrs. Sobet and take her suitcases. They both walked into the school.

I felt a tear go down my cheek in pain, sorrow, hurt. I was just as hurt myself to say those words to my younger sister then she was to hear them.

Kelsey had this coming.

* * *

"Hey." I said as I lay back next to Clare's locker. She was angrily searching through it with force. "Can't find your notebook, Blue-eyes?" I asked her. She looked at me and rolled her eyes. I couldn't help but wonder. "Are you ok?" I asked.

"No. I thought you said you didn't know her." She looked at me with hurt and anger. I finally began to get upset. "It's not like that, Clare." She rolled her eyes at me again.

"Then how come I saw you talking to her this morning?" She said still searching though her locker.

"I'm telling you the truth Clare, there's nothing to worry about."

"I saw her tug on your arm, and you were talking to her and_" I finally pulled her up to look in to my eyes. "She's my sister." I finally said. She stopped talking and stared at me in confusion. "She left when I was about 15, she was 13. My mom had died and she moved. She told me she was going away to a school, but I found out from my dad that she ran away." She still just stared at me in disbelief. "Oh.", Is all she could say. I nodded and slide her hand in mine. "We are going to be late for class." She shook her head. "Why didn't you tell me you had a sister?"

I looked down, and began to shake. I was trying to avoid this conversation. There shouldn't be anything to talk about. I shrugged my shoulders. "She… isn't in my life anymore. I don't want her to be." I confessed. Her eyes grew wide and stared at me.

"What are you talking about? She is your sister!" She exclaimed to me. I knew she was surprised, but I didn't want her to get the wrong idea.

"She lied to me, Clare. All I am to do is ignore her. I want nothing to do with her." I said as I took my hand away from hers. I ruffled through my hair in an awkwardly way.

"Well, why is she back in Toronto?" She asked, concerned. I shrugged, "I think she may be coming to Degrassi. If she does, I'm not speaking to her." Clare was lost with words. She just stared blankly at me, in disgust.

"You can do what you want," She finally said, while reaching down in her locker, "But just know, that if I had a chance to see my sister that's in Kenya, I would take it. Family Matters Eli, no matter how much they hurt you. God gives second chances and so should you."

She picked up a book, and then took one last look at me, "I'll see you in English." She said, walking away from me. I just stood there for a couple moments, waiting for nothing.

I finally took off to my next class. Today couldn't have gone any worse.

I don't see why Clare cared what I did with my life. I mean, I knew Darcy was in Kenya, but she also knew where her sister was [or is] gone to. She hasn't been lied to.

She should know by now that I don't like to be lied to. That I have trouble with lies and I must have the truth.

"_I'll be gone for awhile, Eli. I haven't forgotten about you," Her voice spoke at a calm pace. The signal crackled while I just listened. "I miss you, Kel. When are you coming back from school?" I asked, nervously shaking. She sighed, "I told you, it will be awhile." I looked up to see I only had a few more minutes with this payphone. "Well, as an older brother, I need to know your safe. Don't get into too much trouble there." She laughed slightly and continued to talk, "Dad said I'll be here for awhile, and if you talk to him about me, don't get into detail." My mind froze with shock, "Why?" I asked her. "Just because I said so, ok?" I finally sighed and obeyed her command. "I guess I'll see you when you get back?" I asked her, hoping for a good answer. "Of course, Eli, what kind of a sister would I be?" I laughed and hung up the phone. Hearing her voice was a relief… if only I could see her annoying face every morning again… too bad I can't see mom's face again._

My mind snapped back into reality, and stared at the clock. I was waiting patiently and didn't have a clue what to do until then.

I guess I'll think of what to say to Clare, and how to apologize; even though I have nothing to be sorry for.

**I love this Story :) … It's a really good idea I have had in my head for awhile. I have already come up with new characters and everything. You will love it, it's wonderful.**


	2. Outgrown

The Unheard Beginning

Chapter 2- Outgrown

**Eli**

"_Kel isn't coming back for awhile. I am going to miss her." I spoke calmly, washing the dishes my mom had just touched a week before. Tears were building, but I kept them inside me. "I don't get why she had to go away to school_" My dad's hand slapped the table, making me jump in shock. "Your little scardy-cat of a sister isn't going to be back for a LONG time."He disclaimed, his voice built with anger._

_I turned the water off, and faced my father. I was shaking in my words, "Why not?" I asked him, afraid of the answer. He just looked up at me from the kitchen table and shook his head. "I don't get why she leaves us when we are going though something so tragic." He said, calmly, which shocked me. Since mom had died, he was really angry lately, a little too angry that it scared me._

"_It was a wonderful opportunity; I see why she took it." I said, almost shocked I was going against my father's thoughts. I wasn't going to pick a fight, but I was going to stand up for Kelsey. _

"_You're dumbass of a sister is not at school." He informed me. "What?" I said in disbelief. "Yeah, she ran away when the good got ruff. She left when we needed her most, Elijah. She just bails." _

_My jaw literally drops, and I'm on the edge to tears. I still keep them inside of me and speak calmly. "Where is she going?" I asked him, concern filled my voice. "How the hell am I supposed to know? She's probably on her way to Vancouver or the states. She never liked it here anyway." His voice still thrilled with anger. _

"_Promise me you won't leave me?" He says to me. I turn to look at him; a single tear went down his cheek. "I promise dad, I won't" I agreed._

_He got up and hugged me, "I love you, son." He said, still fighting his tears. I hugged him back, "I love you too Dad."_

"Eli, wake up!" I felt my dad hit me on the leg and told me to get up. "What time is it?" I asked him. He looked down at his watch. "7:23, you need to get ready for school." I nodded and waited for him to leave.

I got up and went straight to my computer. I noticed Clare wasn't on. I finally got up and went into my closet.

I picked out a decent outfit; Gray shirt, black loose tie, and black skinny jeans; the usual. I slipped on my pants and shirt, and picked at the tie for a few seconds while thinking.

Will I see her today? Wait won't she be a sophomore? She's two years younger then me, and I'm a senior.

Wait, why am I thinking about her? I need to be thinking about Clare.

Why was Clare being so hard-headed about this? I mean, I don't want to talk to Kelsey, so why should I?

_RING, RING, RING_

I heard my cell phone. Maybe it's Clare? I thought.

I realized my phone is on the other side of the room.

I ran and jump over my bed to reach my phone, and nearly fall off the bed onto the floor while clicking the green button. "Owwww!" I screamed in pain. "Hello?" I heard the voice. It was a girl, but I was in too much pain to think who it was."

"Eli?" She asks.

"Yeah, hello?" I said in pain. "It's Clare." I finally spring up to the sound of her name and limp over to my bed.

"Oh, hey Clare." I said, still having trouble talking.

"Are you… ok?" She asked, giggling a little. "No, not really. I literally, and I mean _LITERALLY_ jumped to get my phone. The things I do for you." I said, letting out a small laugh. I could almost feel her smiling though the phone.

"I have something to tell you." She said. I looked down at my throbbing foot. The thought of what she's going to tell me is unthinkable, and I'm very anxious to know.

"Yeah?" I asked, still in a little pain. "I talked to Kelsey yesterday and_" "wait, what?' I nearly screamed at her. I finally stood up, not noticing the pain at all. "It's not what you think, She came to talk to me about where something was and we just got… into a conversation."

"And?" I asked, interested to know the conversation.

"Well… I asked her where she was from, and she said originally here, but she moved to California for a while for her Aunt Maggie. Then she asked me if I knew you, and I told her yes… and…" I nearly couldn't believe what I was hearing. "And?" I asked again.

"She told me about how she had to leave you guys and I totally understood her. It was a bad time for her to be around, she felt depressed at the house her mother was in, so she moved away to get away from the pain."

"And she didn't think about the pain she was causing me and dad, did she?" I asked her in anger. She sighed "I think you should give her a chance. She's in the gifted program at Degrassi, and she's in my class_" I gasped. "She supposed to be a sophomore though?" I informed.

"Yeah, but she skipped a grade." She informed me. I sighed and looked down and forgot all about the pain in my leg. "Okay, I'll give her a chance, but I'm not sure my dad will."

I could feel her smiling again. "Thanks, Eli. You're the best!"

I almost questioned if I should joke in this situation, so I did. "Am I best at what?" I joked. She laughed. "Everything!" She exclaimed. "Even sex?" I asked her. I could feel her blush.

"NO!" She finally said. "We've never done it, and we won't for while!" I smiled. She never said never.

I told her goodbye and she did the same for me. I went downstairs and grabbed my keys.

I got into Morty and drove off. Oh boy, today's going to be crazy.

* * *

As I reached the school, I saw Adam a few feet away. As I parked Morty in the usually spot, I jumped out of the car and towards him.

"Hey, mighty-grasshopper." I said leaping onto the bench he was sitting at. He jumped in surprise. "Oh, Eli. You nearly gave me a heart-attack!" He screamed at me. I just let out a laugh and he finally laughed too.

"So, what's been going on?" He asked me. I protested myself to hide my sister, but told him anyway, "My sister's back in town. Clare convinced me to give her a second chance, but it's going to be difficult." Adam looked up at me and closed his comic. "What did she do?" He dared to ask. I left out a sigh, "She left our family after my mom died." I said, hoping for a good answer from him. "Whoa, your life is messed up." He said with a small laugh.

"So, how do you think your dad's going to take it?" He asked me. I gulped. "I don't think he's going to take it at all. IF he finds out I'm actually going to talk to her again, he'll kick me out." I said, seriously. Adam looked down for a brief second before his eyes looked back up at me. "Well, you know that if that happens, my front door is always open." He smiled. I chuckled back at him.

We sat for a few more moments. We both get here too early and there's seems to be nothing to talk about. As we talked about 'The Chinatown Saga', a girl came up to us in question.

"Hey, do you know where the front office is?" She asked Adam and I. We both looked at her. I looked at Adam and he was lost with words with his mouth dropped. "It's right inside the front doors to your right." I finally said, looking back at her. She smiled. "Thanks." She said, turning around and walking away. She was long brownish hair that swung with the wind.

I looked back at Adam, who was still staring at her as she entered the doors. "Who was that?" He asked me. Not taking his eyes off the closing doors. "I don't know, but I'm going to find out." He said. He finally looked at me and I gave him a look. "What?" He asked. I busted out laughing. "You should have seen the look on your face!" I said. He blushed and looked back down to his comic. "Shut up!" He yelled with a smile.

* * *

The bell rung and we just sat there. "I don't want to go to homeroom." I informed him. "You have no choice. When lunch comes, you have to be sitting there ready to talk to your sister…?" He said. "Kelsey. Her name is Kelsey." I told him. "That's a pretty name." He said. I laughed, "You would know, wouldn't you?" I said. He just slightly pushed me and walked to class. I stood there still for several moments, not sure what way to walk. My thoughts kept begging for attention. I finally managed to get into the door before the bell rang again. "Mr. Goldsworthy, keep this up and you might actually be here a second after the tardy bell." I ignored his comment.

I just sat in my seat looking out the window. My thoughts flew and I simply zoned out.

"_Kel, don't go into there!" I yelled. "Come on, El. It will be fun. It's like our own little hide-out." She said. She pulled me into the cave and we both sat down in the dark. The only light came from the opening. _

"_It's nice out here, isn't it?" She asked me. I looked at her. The light glistened across her hair. "It's very… peaceful." I managed to say. "Why'd you take me here?" I asked her. She looked down and sighed._

"_I come here when mother and father argue. It's a nice place just to sit and write." She pulled out a notebook. She began looking though the pages, smiling at certain ones, frowning at others. _

"_Mom and dad have been fighting a lot lately. Do you come here often?" I asked her in concern. She was two years younger than I. She was very clever, so it wasn't shocking that she could find such an astonishing place by herself._

"_Almost every day." She informed me. Her voice filled with hurt. "My stories have gotten better. You need to read them sometime." She said to me with a smile. _

_Writing is something we have in common. We both write wonderful stories and we both love to read each other's work. We started around the same time. I was about 7 and she was about 5. Her stories are always about her feelings and her trying to express them. Mine are usually with characters and has many plots and events. She didn't care for characters. She simply wanted to express herself since no one wanted to listen to her._

_I was always there for her. Her stories lately have been about mom and dad. She explains her hurt for them and how she thinks it's her fault._

"_Will they ever stop? Their arguing is always on my mind." She said, breaking my thoughts. "I'm sure it will pass over time, Kel." I lied to her. It's been going on and off for years, and honestly, I didn't know how much time I could take of it either."_

"_Are you going anywhere tonight?" She asked me. I looked at her and she gave me puppy-dog eyes. "Actually, I was going to go to the movies with Julia." I told her truthfully. She nodded, but I knew she was hurt inside. "Julia's nice. I enjoy her being around." She told me. This caused me to smile. She didn't like many of my girlfriends because they were snobby. Since Kelsey was really close to me, I like her to bond with my girlfriends so they get along. Julia was the first one I remembered that liked Kelsey as well._

"_Well, I need to go. I'm picking Julia up in half an hour. I'll see you when I get home?" I asked her, standing up. "Of course, why wouldn't you?" She said with a smile. I hugged her goodbye and walked out of the cave. I looked back and saw her sitting there, doing nothing but looking at her feet._

"Mr. Goldsworthy!" I heard. I knocked out of my trance and looked at the teacher. "The bell just rung!" My teacher exclaimed. I nodded at him and got up. I ran out the door like a lightening bolt and rushed to my next class. I am now a little too anxious for lunch.

***Sorry I haven't been updating a lot lately. I've been having a lot to do with school work haha. I promise I will update more often; on here and other stories as well.**

**This story was longer then I expected it to be. :D lucky you. If you have any suggestions just review and tell me. **

**Thanks for reading! Review, Alert, Favorite, Suggest, Improve?***


	3. Feared My Tears

The Unheard Beginning

Chapter 3- Feared My Tears

**Eli**

As the lunch bell rang, my hands became sweaty. My heart pounded to the beat of a drum and my eye-sight started to fade out. I was just nervous.

I walked slowly into the lunch room, and looked around. I saw Adam at one table, eating by himself. I then saw Clare sitting with Kelsey on the other side of the cafeteria. I slowly walked over to Adam's table. "No, you don't." He said, pulling the chair into the table. He looked at me and I raised an eyebrow. "What?" I asked him. He pointed towards Clare and Kelsey and I frowned. "Give me a few minutes and I'll go over there, I promise." He finally gave in and let me sit down.

"You nervous?" Adam asked, slightly laughing. I took my hands in my lap and stayed serious. "I'm not going to lie, yes. I am very nervous." Adam looked at me. "It's your sister, Eli. Just pretend like its old times. You two were close weren't you?" I looked up and his eyes were piercing at mine. "Closer then any brother and sister you would imagine, despite the age difference." I told him, not taking my eyes off my hands. He then looked at Kelsey and back at me, "Why is this so difficult for you?" He asked. He seemed to have a lot of questions today. "I am nervous that she'll think I'm like dad." I confessed, "And that it will be awkward; that her leaving will still haunt the both of us."

His eyes returned to the book in his hand. "Don't be nervous or scared. Just go with the flow. Tell her how you feel. Now, you have to go over there now like you promised. I have a book I have to finish reading for an essay." I looked at him with glossy eyes. I was fighting tears, and it worked. I didn't shed one. I got up. "Thanks Adam." I said. He looked at me once more. "No problem, Grasshopper." He said to me. I let out a laugh and walked over to the table Clare and Kelsey were sitting and laughing at.

As I got closer, I could feel eyes looking at me. I saw Clare look up. "Eli!" She exclaimed. She got up and hugged me. "I'm glad you came during lunch." She said before kissing me on the cheek. She sat back down. I just stood there, clueless. Kelsey looked up at me. A smile slowly built on her face. "El." She said. My eyes glistened up to the sound of her nickname for me. "Kel." I said. She stood up and walked towards me. She finally hugged me and I hugged her back. I could hear her sniffle from time to time. "I'm so sorry. I had to leave; I couldn't stay, not there." She was now full of tears. "It's ok. I'm here, I forgive you." I said. She let go and paused to look at me. "You changed." She said. I looked down. "It's only been three years, Kel." I said.

"So, you still look different. When did you dye your hair?" I felt Clare's eyes glow with impatience. "Yeah, when did you dye your hair, Eli?" She asked, interested.

"I didn't dye it. It darkened over the years." I informed both of them. "You look handsome, Eli." She said. I nodded. I then sat down with them. Clare offered a bite of her sandwich, but I couldn't eat. I was too caught up in what was going on.

"So, I assume Kelsey can stay with you guys?" Clare asked me. Kelsey looked at me too, her eyes grew with hope. I gasped.

"I'm not sure…" I started to say. I looked at Kelsey and saw her big hazel eyes staring at me with concern. "Yes. I expect that's the only thing we can do." I smiled. Kelsey smiled too. Clare still looked at me with concern but let it go.

We continued to talk about small things. "How has your writing been? Still writing your lovely heartbreaking poems?" I asked her. She looked up at me. "Yes. I still feel pain here and there. I always find something to write about." Clare and Kelsey looked at each other.

"How was California?" Clare asked. She looked down and sighed. "It was ok. My mom's death still haunted me even from Aunt Maggie's trailer in Palm Springs; schools in California were great. I attended an art school for gifted singers and writers. I learned a lot."

I looked up at the clock and frowned. "I have to go to Mrs. Dawes class early. I'll see you guys later." I stood up and walked out of the cafeteria. My sister's changed a little. I hope my dad takes this well.

* * *

**Clare**

As Eli left me and Kelsey at the table alone, we talked. It was nice talking to Kelsey. She seemed to know a lot for 15 being a junior.

I looked down around her neck. She was wearing a silver necklace that had an "H" attached on it. I couldn't help but wonder.

"That's a pretty necklace. What's 'H' standing for?" I asked her. She looked down and frowned. I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. "You don't have to tell me; if it's personal. I was just curious." I told her in worry. She looked at me, "We are friends, and I want to tell you." She said. She looked down at her hands before she continued.

"When I was in the states, there was this boy. His name was Henry. We had been great friends for about a year. He gave me this and_" I interrupted, "H stands for Henry." I said with sympathy. She nodded, tears started to form. "Were you two together?" I asked. She shook her head. "We never made it official." She spoke calmly, but fearfully. Tears started to go down her cheeks. "He kissed me once, but then he became distant. A couple days later he informed me that_" she stopped and sighed. "_That he had cancer."

I gasped. She sniffled and began to dry her tears. "Oh. I'm so sorry." I said. She looked up at me and then looked back down, holing the H of her necklace in between her fist. "He died later that summer." She informed me. "I'm sorry I asked." I told her. I felt tears come to my own eyes. "Man, it's like the Goldsworthy's are cursed with dying significant others." I said without thinking. She looked up at me. "What's that suppose to mean?" She asked, but not in an angry way.

"Well, Eli's girlfriend died too." I said. She looked up at me. "Julia? Julia died? How?" She didn't seem to know about Eli and Julia's little fuss.

"They got into a fight and she got hit by a car." I told her. She looked back at her hands.

"I guess we are cursed. My mother, Henry, and Julia. Ironic." She looked up at me and quickly looked down. "If you don't mind me asking, how did your mother die?" I asked, again ignoring my common sense. "I don't know." She said. She looked up to me once last time. "I have to go to class. I'll see you after school?" She got up without another glance at me and walked out.

She looked guilty and she looked like she was hiding something. If only I knew what.

But it wasn't my business. I need to stay with my own problems, my own thoughts. Stay out of Kelsey's and Eli's life.

Well, of course I'm Eli's girlfriend. I'm going to be involved but I don't want to completely interfere.

No matter how much I feel like I needed to.

* * *

**Eli**

"_Elijah Goldsworthy?" A police man asked me. I nodded. "We have to talk to you." He exclaimed. I listened to him while he spoke. I had just walked into the door from the movies. I had taken Julia home after noticing there were police cars parked everywhere._

"_Where were you just now?" He asked. "At the movies with my girlfriend." I told him. He nodded before asking another question. "When was the last time you saw your mother?" He asked me. I shook my head trying to remember. "She and my dad were… disagreeing about the bills before I left to go." I told him. He looked up at me and back down to his notepad. "Are you aware about your mother?" He asked. I gasped in confusion. "Aware about what?" I asked him. He looked up and spoke clearly. "Aware of your mother… getting shot?" He informed me. I stood up quickly. "What? NO!" I yelled. He stood up and tried to calm me down. "Son, calm down. I'm just here to ask a few questions." I felt my head get dizzy and my knees weakened._

_They police officers all gathered out of the house to discuss the mystery. I was left alone in the middle of the living room. Where was my dad? Where was Kelsey? _

_I heard footsteps coming from the stairs. I turned around just to find Kelsey standing there, tears coming down her cheeks. I ran up to her and hugged her. "Are you ok?" I asked her. She shook her head. "NO! Who would be ok with the fact that our mother is dead!" She yelled. I felt my heart sink to the pit of my stomach. "Kelsey, go upstairs and get some sleep, ok? I'll see you in the morning?"_

_Kelsey thought for a few seconds. "I love you, Elijah." She said. Her voice sounded like moms. "I love you too, Kelsey." I told her. She turned around, still crying. She went upstairs and to bed._

_My heart ached and whimpered. My eyes filled with tears and I sat down on the floor and just let them all out._

_How could this happen?_

Kelsey ran up behind me and kicked my leg. "Oww! That's my bad leg!" I yelled, remembering what happened that morning. "Oh, sorry." She said, still filled with giggles.

We rode home while listening to "Paisley Jacket" By Dead Hand. One of my favorite songs these days.

"So, El…" She yelled over the music. I turned it down a bit to hear her. "Clare seems nice. I say she's a keeper." She told me. My heart ached at the memory of Julia.

"Yeah. I heard about Julia. I'm sorry, I know how it feels." I opened my eyes wide at her. "Who told you?" I asked. She replied, "Clare. I know how it feels because there was a boy named Henry, he died of cancer. We never made it official though, that's what hurt the most." I felt tears come to her eyes, but took my hand and wiped them away.

"Clare's been nice to me. She still thinks we are going too fast sometimes, but everything just feels right. You know?" I told her. She looked at me and smiled, "Yeah, I know." She said.

We didn't speak the rest of the way home. It was an awkward silence, it was a comfortable silence.

* * *

We arrived home and I got out of the car. Horrid thoughts came to my mind. _Don't betray me. Don't leave me. Don't let that girl back into our lives_. My dad's voice screamed inside my head. I felt bad for Kelsey. I was going to help my sister, even if it made my dad upset.

That was some promise I broke.

We walked silently to the big black door. "This place looks the same." She said with a smile. I opened the door and we walked inside. As I closed the door, I heard my dad yell my name. "Eli! Is that you?" He spoke fiercely. "Yes dad. It's me." I begged for him to come near us. So I didn't have to face him alone.

He walked into the doorway and say Kelsey. Obviously someone heard my prayers. He frowned suddenly. "What the hell is she doing here?" He asked, looking at me in anger. I gulped.

"She is in town. She is in the gifted program at Degrassi and needs somewhere to stay." I spoke with no fear or depression, just straight-forwardness.

He became very angry at me. "I said I didn't want that girl in my house!" He nearly screamed.

Kelsey took up for herself. "Like I want to live here with _YOU_ either!" She screamed back. My eyes grew to the astonishment of the agreement. "I'm not here for you dad, I'll never forgive you like you will never forgive me. So let me just stay here and we will just ignore each other. Sound nice?" She spoke with no fear as well, just willingness.

"Fine. You're some fucked up girl, and I hope you know that." With that note he turned around and walked towards the kitchen.

I turned around and hugged Kelsey. She whispered softly. "I hate that bastard." She said.

I looked at her. "What happened? I knew he was mad at you, but I didn't know you were mad at him." Her eyes grew from mad to plain in two seconds after I said that. "Nothing you need to know." She said. She turned around and went upstairs. I looked around as confused as can be. There was a voice in my head. A voice that I couldn't ignore that said,

"_She has a secret."_

***OH! I loved writing this chapter… I hoped you loved reading it.**

**Improvements? Suggestions? Anything? **

**I will add on I promise.***


	4. No Exception

The Unheard Beginning

Chapter 4- No Exception

**Kelsey**

I was awoken to the lovely singing of the red robins outside my windows. I sat up slowly and rubbed my eyes. I yawned frequently and finally opened my eyes.

I smelled the sweet aroma of freshly cooked pancakes coming from downstairs. I got up and walked to my window, humming along to the rhythm of the bird's singing. Walking up to my vanity that I left from several years back, I stared at myself blankly. I looked up and down and sighed. I brushed my hair in a slow routine. I glossed my lips and picked out clothes for the evening.

I picked out the usual; a red vintage t-shirt, light faded blue skinnies, and red high-top converses I got from Michigan in the states. [1]

I looked in my closet at all my old clothes. The painful memory played again and again in my mind.

_You're worthless! You aren't a good mother, nor' a good wife!_

I finally got dressed and sat down on my bed. The bird's singing had stopped. I looked at my vanity again and looked at the pair of scissors that lay there.

I stood up and walked to them, placing my fingers around them and clenching them tight in my palms as tears strolled down my cheeks.

I then put them down. I looked at my wrist that the scissors had slightly brushed before. The tips of them had gone into the skin and made marks of all sorts. [2]

I looked carefully at my wrist again and noticed the marks are almost clear. I've healed and will never pick those scissors up again. I dropped them on the vanity and scurried out my room downstairs to the sweet smell of Eli's blueberry pancakes.

I walked into the kitchen to find Eli setting them on the table. "Good morning." I said; fully energetic and happy. He looked up and smiled.

"Sleep In on a school day?" He asked. I looked down to my feet. "No, just a little bit later then usual."

He then shook his head, but a smile still stayed glued to his face. "I made your favorite." He said, pointing towards the plate at the table.

He knew me so well. I took a seat and began to dig into it. "I also made bacon, sausage_" I cut him off in the middle of his sentence. "Can't." I said, still eating on my pancakes. I looked up slightly and caught him staring at me with both eyes, astonished of that word that had left my mouth. "What?" I asked him.

He finally spoke, words filled with confusion. "Why don't you want to eat my famous Goldsworthy Meats?" He said, his eyes still glued to me in shock.

I sighed and ate one more bite of pancakes before looking back at him. "Vegetarian." I said, simply. His eyes widened and still stared at me. "What?" I asked again, this time with more frustration.

"A Goldsworthy has never been vegetarian. When did that happen?" He asked quickly. I then looked at him and smirked. "When you live close to a slaughterhouse, it's hard not to be." I exclaimed. He then nodded his head and he let out an 'Oh', as he turned around towards the stove.

"Dad still loves my meats, so I have to put some on a plate for him." He said, placing bacon and sausage on a plate and placing it on the counter.

I finished up my pancakes and put the plate in the sink. "Where is he anyway?" I asked. "Who, dad?" He replied. "Yeah, whatever that thing is you still call 'father'" I exclaimed with a laugh.

"He went to work early and will be back by lunch. Why are you guys being so mean to each other?"

I looked up at him, praying that I didn't have to answer that question. "It's nothing anyone needs to know." And with that note, I left Eli standing there and walked out of the kitchen carrying my backpack. "See you at school." I said while walking out the door.

**Eli**

I kissed Clare as she stood in front of me and Morty. "Ready to go to school?" She asked, breaking the kiss.

"And miss kissing the most beautiful girl in Degrassi, please!" I said, pulling her back into me. I kissed her again until I pulled away. "Ok, now I'm ready."

She smirked at me and walked to the other side of the car. She got in and I followed as well. "Hope your parents didn't see that little 'scene'" I said, putting quotes on the word _scene_.

"They aren't home." She informed me. I smirked, "That's good." I haven't even met her parents yet and I want to make a good first impression. I don't want her parents to hate my guts.

"I would ask you to come in for a bit but I have to be in homeroom today." She said. I looked at her and she winked at me. I smirked and laughed a bit, "I need to make sure Kelsey got to school." I said, breaking the happy mood.

"What happened last night when you guys went home?" She asked. I sighed, failing to ignore the question. "My dad and Kelsey hate each other. Kelsey called him a bastard and he called her a messed up girl, but he didn't use the _words_ messed up." She said "Oh" and sighed. "Well, is there nothing you could do?" She dared to ask.

"I didn't even know Kelsey hated my dad. I don't see what he did that was so bad." I said, hurt in my words. "It's ok, everything will work out." She said, smiling. I smiled too, and not my usual smirk, a smile. She giggled and I sighed again. "I hope so."

We arrived at school a couple minutes before the bell rang. She got out and gave me a goodbye hug and kiss.

As she walked away, I couldn't help but stare at her. Her skirt and hair swung from side to side and then I looked lower…

"Hey!" Adam said, jumping me from the side. "Whatcha doing?" He asked. I still stared at Clare as he turned to see what I was looking at. "You're checking your own girlfriend out?" Adam laughed. He sat down at a bench and I followed him.

I laughed too and sat down. "She's just so… I don't know… hot these days." I said without thinking.

Adam's mouth opened wide. "You called Saint Clare hot?" He joked. I just smirked and laughed.

"Did you ever find out who that girl was?" I asked. He frowned, "No, I didn't even see her the rest of the day. Maybe she's a senior?" I looked to the other end of the parking-lot. I saw her coming. "Here's your chance to find out." I said. He looked away to her direction as she was walking by.

"Hey." Adam said, standing up and stepping in front of her. She let out a smile. "Hi." She said.

Adam was lost with words. "I'm… ugh… Adam…" and then he stopped. I smirked a little, keeping my laughter inside me.

"Torres." I said, standing up next to him. "This is Adam Torres and I'm Eli Goldsworthy." She smiled at both of us, but only looked at Adam. "I'm Maryland. Maryland Smith." She informed. Adam smiled, "Maryland the state?" He asked, giggling a little. "Yes. I was born there. My brother Thomas and I moved here not too long ago." Adam kept smiling like a goof-ball.

"You're cute." She exclaimed to Adam. He blushed a little. "Thanks, you are too." He said. "Maybe, you and I can hang sometime." He said.

"Yes, of course. I'll see you around school?" She asked, waiting for an answer. "Of course!" He said, a little too anxious.

She smiled and walked away. Adam looked at me, "Booyah!" [3] I shook my head while laughing. "What?" He asked me. I just smirked. "You are going to hang out with her? You couldn't remember your last name!"

"I know, but I'll get over it." He laughed too.

* * *

The bell finally rung and I sprung up. "Hey, I'll see you at lunch." I said as I was walking away. I looked around while trying to get to homeroom. No Kelsey… anywhere. I guess I'll just catch up with her at lunch with Clare and Adam.

I walked into homeroom earlier then usual, knowing the teacher will have a fit if I'm late again.

I sat at my desk, once again looking though the window. As soon as I heard the word 'Quiz' my head popped up.

"Today we are having a pop quiz from yesterday's lesson." He informed the class. I started to panic. I looked for notes, any notes. Nothing I can remember of yesterday. _Damn! _I yelled in my head.

"Mr. Goldsworthy, I hope you were paying attention yesterday, this quiz is about 35% of your final grade."

I gulped. I could try to do my best. I will try to do my best.

"_Kel, this is too hard!" I yelled, holding up the paper. "It's easy! You just have to simplify the expression so it's easier to evaluate." I raised an eyebrow and laughed. "I didn't understand anything you just said."She shook her head but was smiling. "Math is understandable. You just have to want to understand it." She said, deeply. I then laughed after a small silence. "You're such a nerd." I said throwing a pencil at me. "Hey! I am a nerd in my head, but outside my head I look like an emo. Like you!" I continued to laugh but then shrugged. She was speaking the truth. We both had a similar style. We would go shopping for converses and skinny jeans together. She loved the vintage tee look while I stood with blazers. She would let me borrow her eye-liner [4] whenever I needed to._

_We were totally opposite yet the same. We got along. Kelsey was smart for her age. She goes to a private school about half an hour away in a gifted class. They learn stuff about math that we high school students couldn't comprehend._

_Out of all, Math wasn't either of our best subjects. We both enjoyed writing._

_I waited until she was done with her math homework. I then took her notebook. "Can I read your latest work?" I asked with a persuasive smile."Sure." She said, pulling a book out of her book bag and started to read._

_I opened to the most recent entry. _

_March 4_

_Tuesday_

"_Something I Remember"_

_I remember waking up to the silence,_

_and the only sound being the birds._

_I remember when they would not argue,_

_And I was always heard._

_I remember wanting to be with them every night,_

_And then the disagreement started,_

_I walk away unnoticed_

_Only not for them to be parted._

_I remember being the only one,_

_Left alone to cry and to cry alone._

_Until one day it was over_

_And the crying faded to slow-full tones._

_Something I remember… was the silence_

_Of a normal family_

_Them, him and me_

_Being together and nothing bad; but something good._

_I closed the notebook, on the edge of tears. I didn't want to read any more poems or stories. They all just made me sad. I do remember the times that were quiet and we didn't have to worry about them. It all seemed to fade after dad got that second job._

The teacher placed my paper in front of me and eye-balled me. He knew I wasn't paying attention yesterday. Did he do this to me on purpose? Does he want me to fail?

I tugged on my pencil out of my pocket and started answering things that I knew.

I should know this, Kelsey taught it to me a long time ago.

"_2(9x+3) +4(7x+2x) Just multiply the outside numbers with the inside numbers. So 2 X 9 is 18 so it would be 18x +"_

My brain throbbed. I finally sighed and put down random answers.

Thanks Anyway Kelsey.

**Kelsey**

I walked into my house unnoticed. Skipping school wasn't like me, but I wasn't in the mood today.

"_Why are you guys so made at each other?" _

Eli's words rattled though my head looking for an exit. I can't believe I even kept the secret this long. I walked into the kitchen and spotted dad sitting there drinking coffee.

I just stood in the doorway, unnoticed. Did he know I was sitting there? Did he even care? I know he hates me, but not for running away. I knew what really bothered him; me knowing the truth.

I started to back away, slowly. So he didn't notice me.

My plan failed when a stepped in a creak in the floor. "Do you think you can just ignore me?" He said, still sitting in his same spot, looking out the back window.

"What?" I asked, trying to avoid conversation. "You think you can come back into this house and just ignore me?" He said, while standing up. He started to scare me.

I tried to back away again, but he threw his coffee mug to the wall; making tons of glass flying everywhere. "Don't you walk away from me!" He yelled, stepping a few feet closer. "You listen to me when I want you too!" He yelled again.

I started to panic, the memory haunting me. _Why don't you just die? Why do you have to live? Why do you deserve to live?_

"You're not a good father, 'nor were you a good husband!" I yelled at him, mimicking his words. "You're a selfish little brat!" He screamed, throwing a chair to the other side of the room. "Like I said, listen to me when I talk!"

I tried backing away again, but he began to chase me. I tried to run out of his grip, but he just held my arm tightly. The grip becomes harder, cutting off my circulation.

"Let go, your hurting me." I said, with tears building up. "Why should I? Why can't I just strangle you? Why do you have to live?" His word hit my mind again like a bullet.

"Stop! Let go of me!" I struggled to get free, but only felt his hand hit my cheek. I stopped and looked up at him. He had an evil look, but calmed down. He let go of my arm and walked a few steps away. "I'm going to go back to work." He said. He then walked out, slamming the door behind him.

I fell to the ground when he left. Still breathing heavy and my heart is still racing. "What the hell was that?" I asked myself. I put my hand to my cheek and remembered the pain, the hurt.

I then looked at my arm. There were hand marks, red as fire. My skin still burned and I tried to stand up. It was worthless.

I then tried again and got up. This time, it was easier. I walked carefully up the stairs, and every step I walked across, I felt no pain.

I came across my room. I looked at it and its misery and memory. The haunt and torture it was and will always be to me. I then went a little crazy.

I stepped into the room, knocking all of my antiques on the floor. I pushed stuff off my dresser and then sat on the floor, tears strolling down my cheeks.

I then looked beside me on the floor. I had knocked the scissors on to the ground. I hesitated, but I picked them up. Slightly opening them, I brushed them across my skin to feel the dullness. I then tug slightly, feeling the pressure build in my injured arm. Several drops of blood found its way down my arm onto my leg. I cut a different spot, trying to cut deeper… which wasn't a good idea.

***Ok, I love this chapter! It's my longest chapter! And you should tell, I love to try and write more each chapter so, my next chapter will have over 3,000 words!**

**Sorry this chapter took so long, I was debating where to end it. I wanted to get to a certain spot. **

**1. Michigan seems like such a lonely state, so I mentioned it **

**2. Yes, this story does have a slight bit of memory of her past that takes her back to her lonely days. So, if you can't read those types of things, skip them.**

**3. I love Adam's "Booyah!" I just had to include it :D**

**4. I know that sounds funny, but it's probably a good guess that Eli would borrow his sister's eyeliner, right? Lol**

**Ok well, thanks for reading, plzz review… more suggestions or improvements would help me a lot!***


	5. A Lonely Bird

The Unheard Beginning

Chapter 5- A Lonely Bird

**Eli**

I walked ahead to lunch, still not seeing Kelsey anywhere. I walked into the Cafeteria, noticing Adam sitting with Clare at the far end.

I still don't understand why they always sit all the way over there.

I walked over to them and sat down. "Hey guys." I said. Clare looked at me and smiled. Adam looked and rolled his eyes. "Go ahead and kiss. It doesn't bother me." Adam said. I then smiled back and kissed her on the cheek. [1]

"That's it? Not the usual, 'Let's make out in the middle of school' thing? You guys are losing each other." Adam laughed. I then smirked, coming back with a smart remark.

"Yeah, but you weren't with us last night." I said. Adam then widened his eyes. I then laughed when I looked at Clare. She blushed and laughed herself. "Are you serious?" Adam asked, still barely smiling. He then took Clare's hand and looked at her ring. "Doesn't look like anything happened to me." He said, pointing at her ring.

I then shook my head, "I'm just kidding, Adam. Clare and I haven't… done that." I said, trying to avoid the actual word. Clare then smiled, "Yeah, we haven't done that… yet." She said, looking at me and winking. I then got controlled. I did want to just make out with her right there in the middle of the cafeteria.

"Guys?" Adam said, snapping his fingers. Our eyes disconnected looking back at him. "You guys are falling by the second." He said, with a small laugh.

"Where's Kelsey?" I asked Clare, changing the subject. She then looked at me, and quickly looked down.

"Clare? Where's Kelsey?" I asked again, worry building in my mind. "She… wasn't here today." She said, still avoiding the entire truth. I then started to get frustrated. "Where is she, Clare?" I asked.

"She told me … she was going to skip. She told me not to tell you." Clare then put her sandwich on her plate and looked at me. I started to build anger. "She's not supposed to be out of my sight." I said. Adam looked back and forth at us as we spoke.

"I know, but she said she couldn't stay in school today. She said she couldn't concentrate on her work." Her words build with sadness. "I'm not mad Clare." I quickly said, making sure she didn't cry.

"Good." She said, slightly smiling. "I need to go find Kelsey. Nobody knows where she could have gone." I said, standing up.

Clare then got up too, "I'll go with you." She said, her eyes filled with guilt. "I would love for you to come, but this is a brother/sister thing. I'll call you later." I said. She nodded and I kissed her goodbye. I waved goodbye to Adam, and he just smirked at me.

I walked outside into Morty, driving carefully but still am panicking. What if she went home and dad was there? What could have happened?

* * *

I arrived at home. I then opened the door, which was surprisingly unlocked. "Dad?" I asked. "Kel?"

I walked carefully though the house. Noticing it was silent. No sound came very anyplace, anywhere.

I listened carefully, stopping in my tracks. All I could hear were the leaves rustling outside and the birds chirping.

I walked in the direction leading to the kitchen. I looked in the door way, and into the kitchen. A chair lay at the far end of it. Glass was everywhere and I couldn't help but think the worst.

I walked carefully through the kitchen, trying not to step on glass. 'What the hell happened here?" I asked myself. I looked down and picked a piece of the glass up. I had recognized the glass. It was my mother's mug, her favorite one. One of the very few things we had left of her, besides a ton of pictures and several antiques she had from traveling.

I then put it on the counter, seeing the counter had a picture; a picture of all of us; Me, Kelsey, mom and dad. It was a family picture we took in Vancouver. I was 14 and Kelsey was 11. She was standing beside mom while I stood beside dad.

The picture was in two; one of them of Kelsey and mom, the other of me and dad. My heart ached. I then heard a question in my mind giving me fear.

Where is Kelsey?

I then put the torn picture down. I walked carefully out of the kitchen and began to run upstairs. "Kelsey?" I yelled in panic.

I then opened Kelsey's room to find her lay on the floor. Blood dripped from her wrist and her arm. [2] She lay there in pain. "Kelsey!" I yelled.

I bent down on my knees, as she just groaned. "Eli…" She said. I then got a rag from a cabinet from the end of the hall. "Hold this and press." I told her as I put it over her wounds. She just nodded in pain. "I'm calling 911." I told her. I got up and dialed the number.

"Hello? How can I help you?" A lady answered, I paced side to side in Kelsey's room. "I need help, my sister is bleeding uncontrollably and I don't think I can get her to my car in time." I then saw the rag was covered in blood. "Eli…" She said again. "Hold on, Kelsey. I'm getting you help." I rushed the woman the address and they said they will be here as soon as they can.

"Eli… it hurts." She managed to add a few words. "I know, Kelsey. Hold on, you will be ok." I told her, but honestly, I didn't know if that was the truth.

An ambulance came several moments later. They put Kelsey onto a gurney; her still gripping her wrist in pain with the washcloth. "I'll be there as soon as I can." I told her. She just looked at me with glossy eyes as they took her away. "I love you Elijah." I said, the words hitting my brain like a memory.

"I love you too, Kel." I said. They hauled her away quicker, noticing she was losing more and more blood. "Hurry!" Somebody called. Eli blocked out all voices, and little before he knew it, the house was silent.

Nobody was there. He walked around Kelsey's room, wondering what went on. He sat on her bed, feelings its comfort. He sobbed uncontrollably, tears streaming his cheeks.

I then looked down. I saw the thing that was Kelsey's thought of escape, her only way out; the scissors. I looked at them. I dropped to the ground moving closer toward them. Picking them up and noticing the blood that dripped from the tips. I cried more, trying to remember the pain she suffered, the pain I knew about. The program she went through to quit her disgusting habit.

I didn't think she did this to herself. I had no idea what happened. All I knew was to get out of this house before my dad.

My plan failed. I heard the front door shut, and heard a deep sigh coming from downstairs.

I walked carefully done the stairs. I don't know what to say, or what to do.

"You're home?" Dad said, as I walked through the doorway, watching my father pick up the broken glass. "Yeah, I left a book on my desk." I lied. I didn't want to speak of Kelsey and what happened, not to him. I still don't believe Kelsey knocked this stuff down or broke mom's mug.

"What happened here?" I asked, looking around pretending I didn't already see it. "I guess your sister had a meltdown?" He said. He was a terrible liar; I knew he had done the mess. "This was mom's favorite mug. Can we get it fixed?" He just looked at the broken glass in disgust. "The bloody thing deserved to get smashed." He said, making it obvious he didn't care. [3]

The dad I had been living with wasn't as calm as he used to be. He was angry when mom died and when Kelsey left, but he had been calm after that; until Kelsey came back.

"I need to call Clare." I said, changing the subject. "You hang out with that girl too much." He said. I then felt angry. "Because I love her." I admitted. He then shook his head. "Love doesn't exist, my boy. Nobody has ever really been in 'love'. If you just say 'love', the person will go off on you." I then was confused, angry at him as well. "You know what love is? Love is powerful, it's moving. I love Clare and I love Kelsey. If you can't accept that, how can I accept you?" I then picked up my book bag and walked out. I heard my dad yelling before I walked out. "You come back here this instant!" He called.

* * *

I hopped into Morty and drove to Degrassi. I got out and noticed the parking lot was empty. I looked at my watch and noticed it was English period. If I get to the classroom before Ms. Dawes does, I could take Adam and Clare with me to the hospital to see Kelsey.

I walked into the school, students still crowding the halls. I ran to the English room. As tired as I was I couldn't stop, I just kept running.

"Eli!" I heard before stopping. I stopped and turned around. "Clare!" I exclaimed, seeing her light brown curly hair. "Are you ok?" She asked.

Then I saw Adam behind her. "What's going on?" He asked; seeing the worry and sadness in my eyes.

"Guys, I'm glad I find you! We have to get to the hospital." I informed them. I could see Clare's eyes widen and Adam's eyes fill with confusion. "Why?" Clare asked.

I gulped, "Kelsey… cut herself too deep." I said. Clare's eyes looked into mine with fear. Adam just started freaking out. "Guys, we have to go now!" He exclaimed, "What are you guys waiting for? Let's go!" They both put their books away in there lockers.

We all ran outside. "Adam, you sit in the back. Clare; sit in the front." I demanded. Adam rolled his eyes.

We drove and drove. We were all panicking. "What exactly happened?" Clare asked, saying her first word since we were at Degrassi. "I came home, broken glass spread the kitchen, and I went to her room and found she cut herself with scissors. Too deep, blood is still everywhere. I was SO terrified." Tears started to build in my eyes, as well as Clare's. Adam was just worried and upset.

* * *

We arrived. The tension between all of us calmed down as we ran into the hospital.

I ran to the front desk. "We are looking for my sister." I told her. The woman smiled, "Her name please?" She asked. "Kelsey Rosa-lee Goldsworthy." I told her. She nodded. "She in intensive care. She will be out on about half an hour. You are more then welcome to stay in the waiting room."

I sighed and nodded at the nice lady, "Thank you." I said. I turned around and walked to an empty bench in disappointment. I sat down, my face in the palms of my hands. Clare came over and put my arm around her. She then laid her head on my shoulder and sobbed.

Adam came and paced back and forth, still furious. "Why did she do that?" He asked. "Why did she cut herself?" He asked again.

I replied, "Same reason you used to burn yourself, Adam. She's angry at something." I said, still curious at the secret.

"I know, but what could it be?" Adam asked, still pacing. "I don't know, I asked myself that question yesterday."

I sighed, tears building. "This is my fault, I let her go to school by herself, I let her live with us." I began to panic more. "It's not your fault, Eli. She could have gone off anytime of the day and you couldn't do anything about it." Clare said.

I stood up pacing along like Adam was, but Adam had stopped. "Kelsey's strong, man. She's going to be fine." Adam said, trying to calm me down.

"I feel like I've ruined Kelsey's life by not being there for her." I said, still sobbing through my words.

Adam stopped me from pacing and looked at me, "Listen to me…" He started, "No one has been there for Kelsey, since she got here, more then you have." He spoke firmly and I listened. I sighed. "I guess your right. I've been there for her, but I promised my dad I wouldn't leave him for anything. Before I came here, he basically told me I didn't_" I looked back over to Clare, she was listening, but probably couldn't hear over her sobs. I continued whispering to Adam, "That I really didn't love Clare, and how love doesn't exist. I feel like he did something to Kelsey, to make her overreact." Adam just looked at me, sorrow built his eyes. "Your father… is a bastard." He said. His words made me smile. [4]

"You have to figure out what happened as soon as Kelsey is released. Ok? I can't stand to wait." Clare said, your face still covered in tears. Clare wasn't an impatient person, so this must have really bothered her.

Adam and I sat down. I put my arm back around Clare and she then again laid her head on my shoulder. We sat in silence, waiting for Kelsey to be released.

"_You have to stop, Kel. This is a bad habit!" I almost screamed. She looked terrified, as I held the scissors in the air away from her reach. She snapped the bands on her wrist continued to sob. "I know. I know… I n-need t-to stop. I j-just can't-t." She looked up to meet my eyes and looked back down._

"_You can, and you will." My voice filled with anger, but hurt. "I don't want you to hurt yourself, Kel. I love you. Mom and dad don't want you to hurt yourself either." My words were filled with hurt. She looked at her wrist and cried. I held her in my arms as she just seemed to cry and cry; ruining my favorite shirt._

"_If mom and dad cared, they would stop fighting." She finally managed to say. I sighed, "Mom and dad have problems, and I know they do. And I know you wish our family to be normal, but we can't." I smiled, trying to make her happy, but no smile appeared on her face._

"_Why is dad so hardheaded?" She asked. I shrugged, "He's just angry. He loves mom and mom loves him. They are just hitting a bump in the road; kiddo." I pulled her notebook out of my backpack. "Here, I brought this from home. The hospital can be boring."_

_She smiled and took the notebook. She opened it and read several things she wrote. "I love your stories, Kel. Read me one?" I asked her, trying to make her feel better._

_She smiled at me, while searching through her notebook. "Anything for you, El." She replied._

"_This one is called 'A Rose in the Desert':_

_1 'I cry, and I weep_

_Of those who can't see._

_I thank the lord for forgiveness_

_And I thank my heart for the sorry._

_2 I'm sorry I wasn't the daughter they wanted._

_I'm sorry I was just in the way._

_I'm sorry I had to live._

_I'm sorry I had to stay._

_3 I'm not the one they intended_

_I'm not the one they had hoped_

_I just keep sitting here listening_

_I don't know how to cope_

_4 How to cope with the fact_

_I'm dead inside and I'm cracked._

_That I'm alone with no way out. _

_I'm a rose in a desert"_

_She stopped reading, and I looked up at her. Tears found her eyes and she whispered small words to herself. "Why am I feeling this way?" She asked me. _

_Kelsey goes through some really upsetting stuff. I think I'm the only one who has ever seen her smile, away from the old times when she used to smile everyday. "You're upset. It's normal to feel pain and hurt when you're in an emotional rollercoaster." I explained to her. I remember when I went though the same thing. I was upset when mom and dad first started fighting, mostly because I had friends who had divorced parents and I didn't want to be like them. Some went to therapy, others were an emotional mess; like Kelsey._

_Kelsey will now have to go to therapy. I'm pretty sure they will. Catching her with scissors, in a hospital, was weird. Even for Kelsey, it was weird._

_I loved Kelsey. I'm glad I'm her brother. I'm glad I am here to protect her, but what happens when I'm gone? Where will she go?_

"_I don't want to die." She said. I then looked at her, confused. "I know you don't." I said. I then looked at her wrist and questioned myself. Does she want to die? She just told me she didn't, but why would she randomly say that._

"_Why would you say something like that?" I asked her. I looked at her and she was avoiding contact with me. She looked to the ceiling, leaning back on the headboard of the hospital bed. She pulled on her notebook, turning to a poem. "Read this to yourself."_

_I opened the page and read;_

_An Unwanted Ending_

_1 I don't know how,_

_To deal with this feeling_

_I just know that_

_It's too silly._

_2 No one cares_

_Or understands_

_I don't want to leave,_

_So hold my hand._

_3 Hold my hand,_

_To help deal with the pain._

_Hold my hand_

_And you might feel the same._

_4 I don't want to bring sorrow_

_I don't want to bring unhappiness_

_So I don't what to end,_

_But I feel like everyone else _

_Has no hand._

_I closed the notebook and settled it back into my book bag. "I still don't understand."I lied, wanting her to explain to me the truth._

_She spoke calmly; her words conflicted with her tears._

"_I don't want to die; but I feel I need to."_

***Okay I love this chapter. It didn't take as long as I thought it would. Over 3,000 words like I promised.**

**I need suggestions and more reviews please.**

**Funny quotes for Adam and them are always allowed as suggestions XD**

**I love how Adam is a third-wheel and he gets annoyed by them; but I feel bad for him at the same time.**

**Who sees the reference in this couple paragraphs? Who ever guesses correctly first gets a shout out in my next chapter. **

**Who hates Mr. Goldsworthy? Raise you hand *Raises hand* lol**

**I love the Adam/Eli and the Clare/Adam friendships individually as well as the 3 Misfits together! I love it! You'll see A LOT of it.**

**Well I guess I'll go start Chapter 6 now. Reviews please! Thanks for reading XD***


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